Save Yourself. Kill The Drama.

its been almost a year...

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 22:22:12 GMT

since i updated this thing. geeze.

well...

i am single now. im trying to just hang out with the ladies (hurray i finally found females that arent shitty!) and some new people im just starting to get to know.

im just done with all the drama of the past year, and everyone that has brought it on. its time to grow up people.

going back to seattle central in the fall. so stoked. on the other hand, anyone want to just pack up and move to san diego? funny thing is, im only half joking.

looking for a new roomate! possibly beki and heather, still gotta go looking though. maybe just my own studio but somewhere downtown. garret has a rad ass studio in belltown. hmmmmm.

the past year has been so hard but so amazing. shitty shitty shitty things have happened, but ive learned so much from all of it that i cant say i regret it all. i love my friends and the direction my life will be taking in the next few months.

other than that... CALL ME! i miss everyone. and its summer, which means bbqs the beach and roadtrips. my new number is 206.999.5270

love love love
lex

Sat, 10 Jun 2006 00:57:16 GMT

hmmm

ok so obviously my accident. over a week ago. still no rental car. no one has gone to look at my car. i dotn know if its totalled, dont know when i will ahve a car. all becasue Deputy Chelin of the Snohomish County Sheriff's Office said he would take care of it the next day,a dn still hasnt. fucking piece of shit.

davey. i'm just going to stop talking about it. because everytime i say something about it. something else immediately happens. enough of that.

i'm moving to the U district in three weeks. like 3 blocks down from mexi mike's house, and 4 blocks away from danny lugosi's house. i have a sauna and a steam room downstairs. yes, you are all onvited to my housewarming party.

i am applying to enter into an apparel design program at seattle central. which means i have to bust my ass this summer sewing to make sure i get accepted. whcih of course, i am perfectly willign to do. i may not be very good at drawing, but i can drape on a form and work a pattern like a mad woman. i'm working on the sewing part. very excited.

hanging out with again ren lately. love her. say whatever shit you want about her, say it to my face, and i will defend her when you are wrong. she's my friend. deal with it.

i miss the tacoma kids. holy fuck oren. you are hysterical. i had forgotted. quarters soon! and the girlies! sarah i love you, and you need to let me know what is new. met some new people too. thats always good.

i am VERY stressed right now. i need some sort of a release. i dont know what it is. i have a feelign things will be getting a whole lot better in the next three weeks though. i hope atleast.

i have felt very isolated this past week without a car. i dont liek it at all. someone come rescue me. please. i actually really need to go shopping, as stupid as that sounds. oh well. ith the truth. i need to get out of my house asap.

i hate that i get bored easily. it can make life very difficult.

She'll Fuck You Just For The Taste

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 23:36:59 GMT

yes i listened to my Atreyu cd today for the first time in months. get over it, i've always liked atreyu. it put me in a good mood.

so dave and i are done. for good now. kind of tried again. didnt go so well. i knew it wouldnt, and i still agreed to try when he came to me. bad idea. i was ok, and i let myself go again. bad idea. listen to you instincts. theyre usually right. meh last night sucked, but today is good. i thought this was going to be really fucking bad. nope. i'm over it. we'll be friends. i was over it before we decided to try again. so what made me think i wouldnt still be ok 2 weeks later. dummy. anyways. we're still going to california. woot woot.

other than that. my life fucking rules. i'm sorry, but it does. last night i called ren after i got off the phone with davey, she had a bad night too. Her friend texted her and we headed to seattle, at 1:30 in the morning. WOO FREE DRINKS. after the bar was closed. Nick was rad too. Mmmm scooby snacks. And whatever that pinneapple thing was. Got home a little after 4. Slept in until 2. Ahh it was a good night.

Freakin out about school and what i was to do. go out of state, or stay here, but if i stay here i cant study design. but do i want to study design right now or are there other things i want to try too. ahh i just dont know, but i do that i fucking hate not going to school right now. yeah i work a full time job, but i still feel like a fucking slacker. ew i hate that feeling. booooo.

i wrote a blog a few weeks ago about how i needed a change. well i got it. and i love it. and its still changing and i'm fucking stoked on it.

ahhh i still need to get down to tacoma! well i was SUPPOSED to today, but yeah people are fucking idiots. you dotn even know. HA. ew i could just go off right now, but i wont because what good would it do. yeah none.

so i have decided to just stop dating singers of bands. not that i sought them out, they came to me, it just happened that way. but not, no guys in bands WHAT SO EVER. bad news bears.

i guess thats everything on my mind right now. i'll start using this more i promise :/

but i cant live that way...

Thu, 02 Feb 2006 01:03:23 GMT

I KNOW YOURE NOT DOING THIS ON PURPOSE... but this is how it feels... i feel like i am being pushed away. thats not a fun feeling by any means. this weekend was fine, it was good. you went down south for a while, and i hung out with my friends. we needed that. but you barely talk to me on the way back from picking you up, barely talk to me at your house before you took me home an hour later. then yesterday you just stopped by for a little while. so we were going to actually be able to hang out today because you kept saying you missed me, and you barely acknowledge me for 3 hours while we got my car towed, and then we were supposed to hang out after, and you say, oh well i think i am going to stay home. i get it that youre sick. so am i. but i have barely seen you in a week. i would have been competely happy just taking a nap with you. i just dont get it. i dont understand whats going on at all right now. i know that youre not doing this on purpose at all, and i know you probably dont even realize youre doing it. but you are, and it feels pretty shitty.

other than that, dave is amazing. and thats all there is to it.

i went to coffee with my soccer coach last night. that was good. i havent seen him in a few months. we had a really good talk about everything that is going on in my life right now. but he said i should start playing again maybe on the coed team hes playing for. he encouraged me to get out and go running. it would probably do me a world of good. hes awesome. speaking of which, i gotta call him.

i got my car up here today, meaning is getting fixed in the next few days, thank god. i HATE not having a car. its to worst feeling ever.

ive gotta seriously start looking at schools again. it must be done. and i really want and need to do it right this time.

guess thats it for now... things are finally starting to go the right way.

i love my pictures :)

Wed, 25 Jan 2006 21:56:22 GMT

I love Jamie. that is all there is to it. she is amazing.

but i dont like not hanging out with anybody... that makes me sad :(

still nothing about my car yet... which means i still dont have one

i need to get drunk more... with people i havent seen in a while... so bascially i need to go up to western one weekend... anyone going soon? god that sounds so bad

Been qatchign alot of UFC lately with dave. at first i didnt like it, but you get used to it and get to know the people and what not. its actually fun. i am dreading daves first fight though :/

had i talk with dave and his mom last night about masons. that was interesting. its so weird to hear people talk about things that you either have no idea about, or beleive something completely different. actually, i just dont know what i beleive. and i dont think there is anything wrong with that.</P>
i miss people from highschool. how sad is that. i miss just seeing everyone, there are SO many people i dont talk to anymore... AH i dont like it.

i just want peace...

BEER BONG

Brock

yep

this is a good one

this looks SO wrong

photoshoot

zach told stormy he'd punch him in the face if he ever broke edge...

thats right

hes drunk

gangsta

GO SEAHAWKS! did they score again?!?! I gotta take another beer bong!... DRUNK... i ended up giving him a black eye

whats with people wanting to put things through his ears?

like here

... and here

red robin after the amazing show at ground zero... VIEW from one end

most of seattle hardcore was there, atleast 35 people... VEIW from the other end

Here's To Being Happy

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 01:00:50 GMT

seriously.

My car might be in the shop, and my cell phone is turned off, and i hate living at home, BUT I'M STILL HAPPY.

it takes a lot to do that.

hurray for moving out next month, if all goes as planned.

i love him. its rediculous how much he makes me smile, even when i'm mad. and easy he makes me laugh. ahhhhhhhhhhh.

i think this is going to be very good.

i need a workout buddy. BAD. i'm SO out of shape. its sad. this is not what i usually look like. yikes! time to not be so lazy.

new project runway tonight. woot woot.

i should use this thing more...

well well well

Tue, 09 Aug 2005 19:15:34 GMT

other than the fact that i dont have my CAR or my PHONE... things have been going really good

dave has been great... we're going to spend the weekend with my sister in spokane since he has a show out there this weekend anyways... friday through monday we'll be there I think... hurray

so i really want my septum pierced.....

i leave in a month and half... i cant even believe it. i have to start packing.... but come december or january... things might get a lot better down there ;) eh well we'll see about that...

she is right... love is VERY different with every person... you cant compare one love with another... not that one love is anymore or any less than another... they are just completely different... which is actually very good... i wouldnt have this any other way

i'm so excited for this weekend

and the more and more i think about it, the more and more i am excited for LA... even though there are so many people i have to leave up here... it is going to be so amazing. i cant wait

the wenatchee show was fun... hurray for much needed road trips

"uh i could so go for a lumberjack slam right now" HAHAHA oh my god... that was fucking hysterical

still havent talked to john... cool... i think we lost it on graduation night when i played pool with ryan... i think he got really mad at me for that... well johnny boy, i do hope to see you atleast once before i leave

wow, for once i actually wrote stuff in here

so my day was really shitty yesterday, i dont really know why exactly, it jsut was... but you made it better!

guess thats all for now... jklsdfhvkjagh;lg

i admit that i'm every bit deserving

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 19:01:04 GMT

hmm where to start??

this weekend was amazing.... even though i got my car taken away for the week.... went to Dave's g-mas pool on sunday... that was so much fun, and his sister Ashlyn is just awesome. So is he...

we spend pretty much all day every day together...

girls night/ nicoles b-day was MUCH NEEDED... so was my day with Melissa... GOD i love you

sammi and i are.... ok now... there are bigger problems in the world, but we wont be what we were before

i miss you sig... and taylor... feel like i havent seen you guys forever

new myspace blog... explained a lot of how i have been feeling

the Red Light show on Satuday night... was... i dont even know how to explain it

anyways... i dotn feel like writing a whole bunch of shit right now

at taaaaaaaaaaylors

he is freaking awesome

goof shit

that was before he got naked

what the hell am i doing?

thats right

for some reason, i love this picture of them

thats zach... hes pretty rad

me and signe, the aftermath, going to the beach

MAH!

yes I HAVE A PICTURE OF IT

we are such nerds

make love to me mosey

at the hurricane after Stress Tour

the Red Light storage unit... we took the cart pushed each other down the hall... it was hysterical

at azteca

and again i just thought they were cool pics

THE ROPE SWING

ruhaaaaaaaaaaaa

fuck dude

lklsdkg;a

dorky ass pic

up in the tree

flying high

yep, hes mine

MELISSAAAAAAAAA i love you

my lover for life

holy shit GIRLS NIGHT

psycho

aww the four of us! my dress is falling off? FUCK our waiter was funny, we gave him our numbers?

i really dont know what we were doing

shes an ANIMAL and i love her

rape?

i love katleen

payback

kiss me

we are retards

she tried to fit her entire mouth over the glass... she almost made it too

it was a good day.... they always are!

Wed, 20 Jul 2005 00:15:48 GMT

the perfect ending to the perfect day.... the sunset at Golden Gardens with Dave

SAMMI!!!

me and sig getting ready for the show

me and danny... god hes awesome

we're dorks

i am going to steal her glasses

bad ass... haha

mah... my favorite... after the show @ ground zero

they were line dancing....

.... Two Step

yep hes a nerd

we went down to Tacoma... this was at the park

the lighting in the graffiti garage got to me for some reason

this ones better

the view from a window

hmmmm

probably my fav one

the old opera house... BEAUTIFUL DAY

the stairs on the side of the building

yep we copied Danny

aww

a door... i dont know why i thought it was cool

:) i liked the way the sun was shining

he loves this picture... esp the heart in the background

sunnnnnnnnnnnn light

through his ear at the beach

random couple at sunset

all in all the past while has been amazing. i have done all i can about a certain situation. its not my problem anymore.

oh i finally completed one of my goals from sophomore year.... I SWAM IN A PUBLIC FOUNTAIN!! the one right outside of red robin/macys at BellSquare! Madison would be proud..... it was the funniest thing ever... there is ONE picture, and Danny has it, I will get it from him eventually

we're painting sammi's room tomorrow! yessssss

melissa i miss you

dave you make me smile

everyone else who i have been with... i love you

everyone i havent seen in a while.... I MISS YOU

goodbye to you....

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 07:57:15 GMT

two of the greatest people

our boys :)

joe we love you

goodbye joe.... hope to see you again soon.... we all love you here.... hope you had a safe flight

we will miss you!

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 09:08:45 GMT

yeah theyre pretty baller i guess

sammi and sig... i love you

i'm taking the picture damnit

sig too cute

i'm after you.... dsklhgsfdag

he was telling a story... for which the face made sense

taaaaaaaaaaaylor

my drink... mmmmm

bastards took every single pillow and blanket.... "its so comfy" ....ass....

what up gangsta

we were playing frisbee in the albertsons parking lot

he does that a lot

sammi sammi sammi

joe joe, it will be sad to say goodbye

hes so sweet :)

morning after warped tour

joe leaves on tuesday... its going to be so sad! :(

warped tour was awesome... i'm SO sunburnt. dave's friends seem cool. Greeley Estates boys were so nice. HURRAY JOE GOT TO SING!! Underoath was good as always, Bleed the Dream, My Chem, Horrorpops, From First to Last, Atreyu, and Fall Out Boy of course! We had to hear our song! Thank you Greeley for letting us crash your tent and get backstage with VIP. The Car ride home, was funny as shit, then EH. But you should not have felt bad, I wasnt mad at you. Its really ok. Crashed at Sammis right when we got back.

Frisbee in the parking lot today. We are going to see how long we can keep this going. I believe it was been... over a week now of seeing each other every day. Tomorrow too, then Tuesday casue Joe leaves, and Wed is my day off. So there you go. :::07.06.05:::

Its all happened so fast. Its very weird, but I'm not complaining.

"Well get used to it." .....beautiful soul :) and my parents like you, so thats a plus!

My mom actually sounded worried about me today. She said I'm getting really skinny and that I need to be eating more. I swear I eat. I may not eat very often, but when i do actually eat, I eat a pretty good amount. I've just been out and about so much, that I forget to eat because I'm never actually hungry. I promise I'm not going to let myself get sick. Dont worry mom. I love you.

We werent together. You know that. We havent been since May. But it looks liek you are doing better. I hope you are. Beleive it or not, I want you to be happy. Lets just not make any drama. I'm not trying to intentionally piss you off, I'm sorry if you think that. And I'm not trying to make you look bad. I'm trying to just not say anything at all and let everything just relax a little. Smile. Its good for you. And I'm very happy if Sam makes you smile. Honestly.

And the countdown begins..... 79 days.

what the dick........

yum cheeto puffs

mah it just keeps getting better

Mon, 04 Jul 2005 09:51:13 GMT

me and terry!

brit and kar at the show

nice job ladies

danny and dave at the show

we kick serious ass

joe looks tired...

SKATE OR DIE, mill creek skate park

taylor, i like the shadow

through the fence

i like this one, i dont know why

me and sammi at woo-ville skate park

sammi is such a dork!

aw in the car

my new hair cut.... THANK YOU SAMMI! and signe!

ooo me and sig

doll face

hmmmmmm

lookin smooth tay

what shall we do?

the lights here are so cool

i think this is taylor

aaron

hes an expert at filming

DAMN VIDEO CAMERA... can eat shit, but no the video will turn out awesome

joe made us burgers!

yay for danny, hes tight

nic!!!!!!!!!!! rentonian

dave :)

that was my idea.......

by the way....

ah those eyes

hey taylor, i dare you to see how many oreos you can fit in your mouth.....

without hesitation, he fit ten

he slept in the tub......

these people are amazing..... i dont even know what else to say. i have had so much fun. i couldnt ask to be surrounded by better people.

funny how the drama is gone now, and no one really cares how much you flip out, actually, we laugh about it, becasue everyone knows how rediculous you are.

warped tour this weekend! yesssssssss roadtrip!

straight up gangsta

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 09:44:51 GMT

dancing in the parking lot

in the rain

it was amazing

and we looked like idiots

but we had fun, so who cares

gangsta

damn we are hot

bitchessssssssssssss

ooooooooo swan

why dont you do somethin....

honestly, who goes rock jogging?

good times :)

dont you wish your gf was hot like me?

these boys are so cute

yesssssssssssahhhhhhh

i love this girl

damn she fine

her g-mas glasses

we tried catching ducks....

sadly we failed

red robin

basically things have been amazing

i love melissa

and all of you who i have been with lately

sdklajfhasdl;hg'alsdkg

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 07:52:19 GMT

Sr Memories and Breakfast were in the entry right before this... TONS of pictures...

graduation, i cant even sum it up right now, it will take a few days to sink in, honestly.

but it was amazing.

Ryan... THANK YOU for the hug, it meant alot. That was big of you. Its amazing what a 5 page letter can do.... this is better...

It was very surreal. John and I at one point just went, whoa this is weird.

John... I am glad thigns are back to normal with us. I like it much better this way. jhdsa;fh love you.

then the party was fun too... lots of family. it was good.

my mom, me, and MY DAD!

mom, me and mikey

party dork

jsut a funny pic

i'm not ready for the whole... "what highschool meant to me" entry yet, give me a few days to take it all in.

anyways........ yeah... its just, weird.

we're graduated.

lsdkjgalkg

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 07:43:23 GMT

i'm going to do this in blocks....

Sr breakfast: was amazing. straight up. the food was good, and it was awesome to see everyoen in one place. miles and nick i lov eyou both you are great. siginign yearbooks was sad. bini and sasha almost made me cry... god it was good. i dotn really know what to say. the postal service played, and i got a text...

Memories assembly: SO SAD I cried. so good tho. saying goodbye to everyoen, and the teachers, OH MY GOD. that was terrible. i cried the hardest with erika, amy, sasha and ginny i think. i cried when sarah sang I WILL REMEMBER YOU by sarah mclaughlin.

bye the way, i love celeste and katie.

i dont know who all saw this, but this was posted in the ASB room...

oh yes

we are nerds...

she is my love....

before our final... can you tell?

some of the girlies, i miss most of them!!

me, celeste and katie

i love you john!

tight dj, i always get good pics of us

LB... the one and only... Lindsey Bluher.... I LOVE YOU

KATELYN... so cute

LOVE

crazy ass danielle

my last picture ever taken of mohammad... so sad

the second one today...

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 03:12:45 GMT

my secodn entry today, but get over it...

my day didnt go at all as planned

went to jack in the box, that was fun, as usual!

then met up with Katie M and Celeste at Alderwood. FUNNEST THING. I actually bought soemthing at Hollister, I gave in I KNOW. But the tank top is super cute, and 15 bucks so why the hell not. All shared a changing room. Good times. Texting was fun too. Shopping with those girls is awesome. Then we got Jamba, sat down and ate our pizza, we got 2 slices FOR FREE by the wya becasue the guy was hitting on Celeste (and they were closing) adn as we are sitting there, I go say to Celeste "cute guy in plaid short comming up" so the guy walks by us, looks, walks further, looks back and waves. Meanin whiel katie is fucking laughing her ass off for no reason, and shes like LETS GO TALK TO THEM. She runs out of the food court, while celeste and i walk, so looks back at us, while running, and them watching, and TRIPS over the flower beds!! OMG. I bent over laughing. SO we end up going up and tlakign to this guy Luke, who was AMAZINGLY attractive might I add, damn I am good. Then we gave them our pizza, talked for a second, then left. Damnit I should have got his number. He was hot. Katie laughs all the way to the care, liek laughing hysterically, and I am laughing, not at the situation, but at her. FUCK it was so funny. Then she was snorting in the car. She is amazing at it. GOD so much fun.

I just had to share.....

the days just keep getting better, i'm not even joking.

was gonna stop and say hey to riley casue he wanted a hug, but his phoen was being gay so scratch that.

oh wow...

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 20:34:47 GMT

so hmm lets see....

thursday and friday were fun. The lyons Den with Katie M.... Fetus? HOOKIE TOOKIE! Mwahahaha.

Yesterday.. AMAZING. Sisterhood of the Traveling pants with Melissa. We def. cried through half of the movie. SO GOOD. I cant beleive I have to leave her. We def almost cried like 5 times the rest of the day about it. Wednesday is going to be the worst. Then out with the girls for the night. That was the greatest. ahhh I dont even know.

one of us needs to start caring... or not, casue that works too

today... kayles party i think, then katie's for photo journals?

i've been running at the gym lately. it feels so good. my body welcomes the exercise, actually, it MISSES it. quitting soccer killed me. but now, it feels SO good again. I've almost got my body back. thats nice. my legs are back again, thank god for perma quad. my stomach is smaller, and more defined. this is so good. I dont even get tired when i run. i love it, its like a release. 8 lbs and counting, give it another 2 weeks, and i'll be set.

drink more water, its good for you.

i might be going to rwanda for a month... incredible.

things are going SO well... i couldnt ask for any better. i'm dealing with thigns MUCH better than I thought i would. I'm not even mad, and not even hurt, which is weird. I just dont care anymore, and that feels DAMN good.

guess thats it for now, i know there are things i forgot tho.

i dont want to be anything other than me

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 05:02:56 GMT

I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned!
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

So I dont know what is going on this weekend now, and I am goign to be really bummed if it doesnt work out. FINALLY someone who likes to dance as much as I do. Thats all I wanted! Then I find it, and I'm forbidden from it. I can respect the reasoning tho. Still a BIG BUMMER.

We are writing Epstolary Poems in english. I have decided to write one to everyone who is close to me. Ryan, Kat, Katie, Melissa, My parents, Baker, Jason, just a ton of people. There are so many thing i want to say to people, and with graduation and me leaving, now seems like the perfect time.

I think we need our time apart right now. I love you very much. I miss you too, please dont beleive anythign other than that. But right now we really need our space, to mend, before we can be close again, and I do want that very badly, but it is too soon. You are incredibly important to me, and I dont want to lose you. But this is what we BOTH need right now.

Anyone want to hit up Jamba or starbucks tomorrow at like 7:30? OOO or the Lyons den? I need to work on my poems and just relax... ahhhh.

Yay for Katie M and Celeste this weekend!

I forgot to mention the bonfire we had sunday night! And how Melissa and I fell in love twice at Folk Life! AND how I am getting my lip peirced on June 10.. anyone wanna come with me? I'm sacred... hahah

hmmmm what else is there to say?

I love life right now. Things are actually going pretty good. Some stuff is really hard. I am pretty much completely checked out of school. YEAH. But I know that the worst is over, adn its just a matter of time before all of the wounds are healed. I love my friends and everyone in my life. I am having so much fun, and I am TRULY happy right now. Thats the first time I have been able to say that in a long time.

God that seems cheesy, but I really dont care.

best weekend ever....

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 00:43:35 GMT

friday: skipped school of course, went to denny beach with Bram, Pat, Jason, and Riley. Ran into Megz, Tara and Chan. That was fun, hurray for frisbee. Found out Ryan is a criminal, that was awkward, oh well. Hope everything works out. Got everythign ready for prom with Melissa after that.

OMG SATURDAY

So I got up and went ot the gym super early, then rushed to my hair apt, which I almost missed, with all of the best girls! Awkward experience while I was eating, but whatev. Then Melissa and I went and got Mani/Pedi's where we saw Ms McGee! So funny. That was amazing tho. Then rushed back to my house, finished my dress, did melissa's makeup, Gin and Chan came and go theirs done too. I was runnign SO LATE. I ended up meeting my group at the school for pictures in my boxers and a beater, with my dress in one arm. I def changed there, and changed back out of it before we left for katies. Then bram and I stopped by Melissa's to help ehr get her dress on. Pictures at katies by the lake were PERFECT. OMG they are beautiful. It was fun too. HTne we headed to Marcus's house for more pictures and to be picked up by the limo! HURRAY! That was tight. Bad idea lettign stitch and john have the seat with all the controls. Everybody looked SO beautiful! SO fun. BITCH.. thats def what it said on our window. HAHAHA. DInner was straight up amazing. Those mashed potatoes, OH MY GOD. The calamari adn the tentacles FREAKED ME OUT. Amazingly beautiful tho. Then surprise surpirse! John's dad paid for our dinner, the waiter brought us our receipt and  said "youre taken care of" That was tight. Then we headed to prom. Standing out of the limo... Oh wow. The ticket experience was weird, but I LOVE MELISSA!

Once we got inside... I went crazy! I had the best tiem ever. Me and Bram had a total blast, everyoen looked SO gorgeous. Macarena with DJ! Bouncing around with Celeste. The train. AND DANCING WITH RUDY. that was hot. that is all there is to say. Jason and Ken showed up! THat was SO amazing. Unexpected! EMP was the tightest place ever for prom.The last half hour was the best. If Melissa would have been there for the graduation song, we def would have cried, so I'm glad you left before we did!

Afterwards, we drove around, sprawled out in the limo, and went up to the hill on Queen Anne that looked over the city. SO COOL. Cute picture from it too. Then we went back to Katie's, got our cars, and headed to Kat's. THAT WAS FUN. Bob meldolf? WHAT!. When did you get here?!?! OMG. THe toilet? Cuddling :)

Didnt go to sleep until about 5. Went to Denny's at 11, then back to Kat's to sleep til 5. Yeah. THe Idaho boys were funny, I must admit. jack at jasons. HURRAY.

Yesterday: FOLK LIFE WITH MELISSA!!! SO FREAKIN COOL. Our Henna Tattoos are amazing. Def gonna be my permanent one. The cross dressers? And our beautiful jewelry! Then we hung out with RUDY. Yes for Jamba! Then home to clean.

OMG Rudy I cannot wait until saturday. Damn straight we are official dance partners. Tightest thing ever. Haggered? How many times can you say that? Counting down the days.... and then we are going every weekend. King and Queen of the dance floor. Youre way tight.

"shes easy" thats funny shit

Doing SO MUCH BETTER! I am having so much fun. And I am so happy, all the time!

Laugh Happy

you and i collide

the view from queen anne

After the dance, tired and sweaty

YAY! hot melissa

me and dj!

awww

yesssssss the limo

our appetizers

these boys are freaking amazing

thats my date! aint he cute!

crazy kat

WCG FOR LIFE BITCHES

best group ever

best pic @ queen anne

"point to the lake"

CUTE... love this one

Tue, 24 May 2005 04:22:04 GMT

there were so many fewer questions when stars were still just the holes to heaven

mhmmmm

that about sums it up right there

coffee and frisbee with riley today... yay

Mon, 23 May 2005 04:45:33 GMT

melissa and i watched a house burn down on friday. horrifying. it really puts things into perspective. that was not just a house, that was somebodys life. everything is gone, all their clothes, pictures, family things. just gone, burned up. it was terrible.

then we watched a Marilyn Monroe movie.

Saturday... crap what did I do saturday?? went to the gym, was supposed to have brunch with riley but couldnt, was supposed to hang out with jason, but jaqui and her friend came over for prom make up. then ryans show. he knocked my camera off stage and the front glass peice of the lens broke. a 400 dollar lens. i am taking it into kenmore camera tomorrow. i was very upset by it.

then we went back to ryans and we took a nap together on the big couch upstairs before i had to leave.

paintball today. i have a welt on my head and a bruise on my shoulder, not too bad. then i went to my aunts and she helped me do the hem on my prom dress. all that is left to do is some fitting and a little tacking. all stuff i have to do by hand. she loaned me her sewing machine and GAVE me her surger. OMG i am so excited.

dinner at the keg... ehh not all that great

stupid africa test tomorrow... gay africa

i seriously need to turn in some photography stuff... YEAH, then my journal too, ugh

weird day yesterday... thanks for being there melissa... no one else really is anymore

so much is gonna change in two weeks, i dont know if i am ready for it, but then i need it at the same time

leanne we are hanging out soon... for sure

kat and katie... i'm done, there is no point, i dont need the drama that you two create, i wish you both the best

BooBooKittyF216: I'm sure you guys will get back together
BooBooKittyF216: clearly you are both in love. You will prob. end up getting married.
PeachyBeKeen13: we wont tho, i leave in 4 months

thats the sort of thing that really gets me... that kind of realization

OMG the OC season finale! and Gilmore Girls... holly hell

anyways, i had a lot of really interesting things to say, but i dotn remember them right now, so oh well

thanks for ditching me this weekend john... well now if you ever want to hang out with me, then you can call, because i am not going to waste my energy, i know youre the lazy type, well i'm sorry then, i'm not that type

lkhdfsklhads

my views and advice on life

Thu, 19 May 2005 05:35:06 GMT

i beleive in karma... what you do always comes back to you, sooner or later, one way or another, good or bad

honesty is always the best policy, not matter how much it may hurt, its the only way to truly know somebody, and to trust them obviously

always take a great opprotunity when it is at your feet, you never know what could come of it

never try to intentionally hurt someone, (karma) or interfere with relationships, you cannot change people, and there is no point in trying to make things bad, or worse

tell the people you love how you feel, everyday, even if it is at random times, not only will it make their day, but it could be the last thing you say to them

be positive any time you can (read above) whenyou are in a bad mood, talk to someone who makes you happy, or say hi to soemone who makes you smile, it can really make your day

eat healthier, it makes you feel better, and drink more water

trust your instincts, about life, about situations, and about people

listen to people, and talk to people, just letting someone get soemthing of their chest can make them feel better, and likewise if you do it

if youre not a verbal person, write it down, seeing something in black and white can help you work through a lot

try your best at everything you do, it WILL pay off (karma again)

3 strikes, youre out, on everything, NO MATTER WHAT

so yeah i dont know why i decided to write this... but there you have it

the past 2 days have been good.... hung out with ryan quite a bit, that was fun ;)

finshing my dress tomorrow! WOO HOO

SO excited for prom... me and ryan, melissa and rudy, jacqui and trent... dicks for burgers, then Claim Jumpers for awesome desserts, off to the dance, then from 12-3am we have a white super stretch limo... THEN back to ryans to stay in the rv trailer!!! YESSSSSSSSSSS it is all working out after all!

i hate scenester by the way... always have always will, and so you do

GO CHANTELLE she got what she deserved and i would have done the same thing... i'm just glad you were the one to bring it out inthe open, so that i didnt heve to do it! i love you girl

yes amy and celeste... this weekend

last night was good

Sat, 14 May 2005 17:46:02 GMT

actually, all of yesterday was good

prom with ryan for sure now... its suppsoed to be this wasy. katie, kat and i got in a huge fight thursday night. katie and i arent talking. she cancelled our hair and nail appointments together, kat mad her and I new ones considering she is going in our group now. no one wants to be around katie when shes being like this. yeah be careful i know your secrets remember? anyways, so its gonna be me and ryan, melissa and rudy, trent and jacqui, kat and bram. Limo, then kats empty apartments after. its gonna be great.

johns ok with everythign to, thank god. i talked to him and hes like no its really ok nothing bad is happening to our realtionship, but i did have to cancel our dinner reservations. SAD. so yeah anyways its cool with us though. their group is still going tobe good.

and i didnt ruin prom for everyone, you did by being a bitch. good friend.

but it has been good with ryan. really good. we are, just what we are, involved as he says it. we're not "together" becasue obviously that does not work for us. but we cant be apart. so we as just whatever we want to be, and i think this is going to be good. no stress, no fighting, but and understanding. thats good. we're not "back together again" as everyoen said we would be, but i dont know.

as for psycho bitches... get a grip.

off shoe shopping with melissa today. HURRAY!.

i guess thats it for now...

prom drama, of course

Thu, 12 May 2005 03:30:39 GMT

after bridget and I's conversation today in 5th period, I was really confused, then Johns truck seemed like a sign. Then after talkign to everyone, I was leaning a certain way.... then he lied, and I found out, and it changed everything. Thats more of a sign.

You smoke yesterday and dont tell me, then hug me, then come over to my house and try to kiss me multiple times adn tell me how if it could be like this, it could work, What if you could smoke and not tell me and jsut hook up and hang out once in a while, but liek you said, not hook up with anybody else. Good thing I didnt kiss you. Good thing I said that wouldnt work. Then you smoke again today. The only reason you are mad is becaseu you got caught and I said scratch what I was thinking about prom. You lost that and youre mad. That sucks. I dont want this to be the end for us. But it has definately changed things. Good thing you dotn want to take her to prom. That would be drama.

I just need school to be over.

I'm excited for friday now! woo hoo

Some of my friends have made me mad lately. When you purpose;ly try to piss someone off, right in front of them, especially how it is not your business, that is bullshit.

I just need school to be over.

By 7:00 pm tomorrow, my prom dress will be mostly done!

I went tanning again today... got a little pink again, oh well.

Senioritis.

I just need school to be over.

Looking forward to LA. I need a change, especially in 4 months.

My weakness is that I care too much. The scars remind us that the past is real. I'm drunk and I'm feeling down. Atleast I can say I tried. I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life. I cant hold onto the good stuff anymore, the time before Kyla, if we could go back, that would be amazing. But we cant, we are here now and we have to deal with what is happening.

He's gonna be mad I wrote this.

Thanks though Bridge, I love you girl. And hey, theres a possible date for you now!

Our group is way tight though.

I'm exhausted, and stressed.

I just need school to be over.

my weakness is that i care TOO MUCH

Mon, 09 May 2005 03:33:17 GMT

Love can be a many splendored thing. You can't deny the joy it brings. It'll make you hear a symphony, and you just want the world to see. But like a drug that makes you blind, It'll fool you every time. The trouble with love is, it can tear you up inside, make your heart believe a lie. It's stronger than your pride. Now I was once a fool, it's true. I played the game by all the rules. But now my world's a deeper blue. I'm sadder, but I'm wiser too. I swore I'd never love again, I swore my heart would never mend. Said love wasn't worth the pain. Every time I turn around, I think I've got it all figured out. The sad story always ends the same, me standing in the pouring rain. It seems no matter what I do, it tears my heart in two. The trouble with love is, it can tear you up inside, make your heart beleive a lie. Its stronger than your pride.

Friday was a blast! John and I went to clean up Katies a little before her parents got home, then we went to the Bothell Baseball game. He tried to get me to eat a tongue taco... no way in hell. So we come back to my house and decide to make tortellini. Well then my parents suggest the drive in. We packed up our tortellini and funyuns and went to the drive in to see XXX : State of the Union (terrible dont see it) and Hitch. It was so much fun. Got home at like 1:15.

Then I had to get up at 8 to go down to Des Moines to work on my Prom Dress, which is comming along SO GOOD. I am very excited. After that I came home and showered, then went shopping with Ginny, Kat, and Katie. That was fun. Spent 70 dollars on earrings, a purse, a broach and sparkly hair things. Ooops. And I still have to get shoes. I think I found the ones I want, but I am not sure... too bad I havent been asked yet! geeze.... Then Kat and I went out for the night, that was good, home early though cause we were both so tired.

Today we went out to lunch then hung out and ordered chinese food for dinner. It was a very lazy day, and a much needed one.

I miss Melissa... we really need to hang out soon. :(

There is a lot I need to figure out. A lot I need to deal with, I just dont really know how. I guess its just a really painful learning experience.